MemberTalk 1: The Blurb
MemberTalk is a monthly feature where our members discuss an aspect of e-fiction in depth. We want to promote discussion among members and readers. So join in and have your say!
When browsing through the bookstore, the blurb is often the first impression a reader gets of the story, after viewing the cover of course. That’s the point where readers judge whether to open the book and read further, or put it back on the shelf.
“Blurbs,” says Karen, “need to be punchy, effective and eye-catching. I generally scan book blurbs, so I need to see words that will interest me, like enigma, murder, intrigue, lawlessness, and also seeing something from a different perspective. It helps to be quirky too. And something that is worded intelligently, I have a brain, I want to work something out, I will read your book, if you over simplify it, I will think it is all done for me, and will not read the book unless I needed something brainless to put me to sleep.”
For e-fiction, the blurb is the bait, to entice a reader to click through, and often appears without the visual support of a flashy cover image. As such, it needs to really shine, to stand out and promise something amazing, something that makes the reader go ”I want to read that!”
Najela agrees. “What I look for in a blurb is quirkiness. What makes this story different than the others? I also look for as many details in the story without giving the plot away. The…blurb (needs to give) all the information necessary to maintain interest in the premise and make me click that link. “
We ask for a blurb with every submission to the club. This is the element that encourages our blog readers to join us in reading the story. So how successful were the blurbs of stories we have read so far?
The ones that worked
Four of our members found the blurb for DEAD(ish) the most effective.
Linda’s had a bad day. First her boyfriend killed her. Then she woke up, still on this boring plane of existence, and with an odd obsession about her missing body. Mike won’t tell her what he did with her body, and she can’t find the stupid thing herself. There’s only one thing she can do – torment the bastard until he coughs up the information.
Here’s what they had to say.
Karen:
This blurb starts with something that really gets you reading. First her boyfriend killed her – and she is still talking, let me read more! An obsession with her missing body, well things are really starting to get interesting… She can’t find it – surely a ghost would know where the body was… torment the bastard until he coughs up the information – that’s the hook, this sounds like a story with an interesting point of view, and doesn’t give away the plot.
Najela:
This blurb worked for me because it was so interesting. It sounds intriguing, a dead girl trying to find her dead body after her boyfriend killed her. I want to know “Why did he kill her?” and “How does she torment this bastard?” This blurb has a sassy attitude and immediately after I finish writing this, I feel like I want to go read this story and see what happened and why.
Anna:
This is short, effective and to the point. It doesn’t waste time introducing minor characters of detailing the intricacies of the plot – it goes straight to the highly original essence of the story and really grabs the reader’s attention, whilst still leaving enough hanging that I wanted to know more.
B.J.:
I found the blurb for DEAD(ish) to be most effective for several reasons. First, it’s short and quickly brings out the main tension. Second, here is a victim that refuses to roll over and stay dead. She fights back. Those stories appeal to me. Third, I liked the way the blurb built from “had a bad day” to the events leading to her decision to torment Mike until she gets her answers. I might choose to eliminate a phrase for clarity, but as I found myself interested in finding out how Linda goes about getting information based on the blurb alone, it worked for me.
Cassie gave her vote to The Vector:
It’s the age of the home-made virus, and humanity is dying. It just doesn’t know it yet. In Prague, a young woman named Eva returns home to escape the plagues, only to find her mother missing and the police blaming her for the worst outbreaks in recent memory. Events are complicated by the appearance of a Healer — a merciless Chinese agent — sent to neutralize a new strain that may bring Prague to its knees. With only days until the launch of a super-virus, Eva must navigate a hostile city and escape to safety before she becomes another faceless victim in this global, slow apocalypse.
Cassie says:
It gives me a character to identify with, a bit of her back story and then places her in the middle of danger not just from the police, but also from the many viruses around the place. I have to read the book to know whether she gets through this alive, or whether the police (or a virus) get her in the end. The mention of the Healer also builds interest. I want to know what a Healer is. The stakes are high, the world is at risk, and I want to know how it all turns out.
What spoke to the members most?
Firstly, a character to identify with. Secondly, just enough information to make the reader ask questions. Thirdly, effective use of words, tone and voice.
Cassie sums this up nicely. “…getting me interested in the characters, and the story, is very important for me as a reader. A blurb needs to get me thinking, it needs to pose questions in ways which mean I have to read the story to find out. The more a blurb draws me in, the more I’ll want to read the story – but then on the other hand, the more it needs to live up to the potential the blurb has shown.”
So which blurbs weren’t effective?
Three of our members said that the blurb for The Legion of Nothing didn’t work for them.
The Legion of Nothing is the story of Nick Klein and what happens when he takes on the identity (and powered armor) of “The Rocket.” Originally his grandfather’s superhero identity, the powered armor comes with a lot of baggage. Ranging from his grandfather’s service in World War II to connections with other heroes (and villains), the past has a way of intruding on Nick’s present.
Anna said:
I loved what I read of this story, but the blurb simply doesn’t do it justice; rather than hooking the reader in, it just gives a rather generalised overview of the concept. There is no question I really wanted answered when reading this, nor did I have a reason to care about the main character. It also seems rather wordy for something I think should be short and snappy – and the use of parenthesis just adds to that.
Cassie said:
I think this was the least effective blurb because it does little to build excitement or interest about the story. Reading it doesn’t make me feel like I have to get into the series though the story is actually very good. I think the main problem is that it doesn’t build much tension for me, doesn’t make me start asking questions that I then need to read to find out the answers to. This one in particular could be improved by bringing more of Nick’s voice to the blurb – he is an engaging character and if this sounded more like him, I think the blurb would hold more interest for me and have made me more curious.
Karen said:
I didn’t like this blurb because it gives too much away, and tries to over-explain what the story is about. It doesn’t mention that he is a teenager, amongst other teenagers trying to find their own way in the super hero way. Funnily enough I enjoyed the story.
B.J. found the blurb for Strange Little Band the least enticing:
Strange Little Band is the ongoing story of Addison and Shane, two self-centered, amoral psychics who work for the cut-throat Triptych Corporation. Their insular, comfortable lives are disrupted when, due to Triptych’s machinations, they become unlikely parents. How can they raise a child when they can’t trust each other?
B.J. said:
We know immediately it is an ongoing story, and I’m left feeling I’ve missed something. Questions begin immediately. Why would they work for Triptych? If they work together, why can’t they trust each other? Why would Triptych make them parents? These are not questions of intrigue, but questions of probability. They are self-centered and work for a cut-throat company. These are not people I want to watch fumbling around with a child. I don’t feel sparked or invested in the outcome.
Najela didn’t connect with the blurb for Coffee Clutch:
In the mid sixties, homemaker Jan Birch maintains a tight circle of friends in her Upstate New York suburban neighborhood. When the divorcée down the street is murdered, the women attribute her death to a hobo they’d seen months before. Quickly, though, Jan begins to suspect that the hobo had left the neighborhood long before and the murderer may be one of her dear friends.
Najela said:
This one doesn’t work for me too much because the language feels a little off. “Hobo” doesn’t seems like the right word and the sentence following sounds a little strange. I guess it just through me off because the rest was so formal and hobo is more slang. There’s a lot of extraneous words that can get cut out and that makes it a little hard to read. I need a little bit more about Jan, does she have kids and what do her and her friends do. I don’t feel like Jan is a “real person” right now. Even though this is a blurb, I feel like it doesn’t do the story justice because it so long.
What’s the common denominator?
Not surprisingly, the blurbs that failed to entice had the opposite traits to the successful blurbs. There was no distinct hook, the information was too general and didn’t focus on a specific character and the tone or language wasn’t as enticing.
B.J. also raises the point of probability. While the questions raised from the blurb of Strange Little Band are answered in the story, they may not be the best questions to attract a reader.
Opening the discussion
We’ve highlighted what worked and what didn’t work for our members. Here are some questions to get you thinking. Or, feel free to discuss another aspect we may have missed. We also welcome responses from the authors.
Do you agree or disagree with our members’ analysis of the blurbs?
What do you look for in a blurb?
How much do you think voice matters when enticing readers?
(For writers) Do you find it difficult to focus on one aspect when writing a blurb?
Is there something you see often in blurbs that turns you off as a reader?
Do you agree that raising questions in the reader’s mind is an effective way to write a blurb?
Comments are open, chime in and have your say.
I very much agree with those observations. A relatable character and a sense of the story is important, but I find it really hard to boil it down to something exciting that doesn’t give away the entire story. For The Vector, I want to make it seem exciting, but I don’t want to falsely suggest that it’s wall-to-wall action. The subtleties are hard to navigate sometimes.
I actually took a decent amount of flak for my blurb, so I wrote another to compensate. Now I don’t know if it’s better or worse
The new one reads:
Eva thought she could outrun the plagues, but she was wrong. The bio-hackers that ripped the world raw are targeting her hometown of Prague, and this time there may be no escaping it.
Now, hunted by police who think she’s a hacker herself, Eva must brave the rotting city streets to find her mother before it’s too late. But with a ruthless agent known as a “Healer” on the prowl, it may only be a matter of time before Eva becomes another victim of his blood-soaked carnage.
In this snowy, ash-strewn apocalypse, Eva’s greatest fear is this new threat may not be coincidence at all… it may be personal.
oo I like that too, I think it might be better, but I’m pretty tired so don’t take my word on it
You have a riveting book!
Thanks!
I’m still battling with the blurb issue. It’s one of those thing where I could write a new one every day and still not get it right. It’s so vital, but so hard to pin down.
This post was awesome! About halfway through I was suddenly struck by an inspiration to write a more interesting blurb.
It could still be better, but it’s way above what it was. YAY!
Glad we could inspire you April!
Blurbs are the bane of any writer’s existence. There are the supreme annoyance of a reader’s existence, as well. They’re very difficult to write, which is why they are so often poorly or wrongly written.
Thank you very much for starting an argu–erm, post about blurbs. I agree with the analyses made and would add that the use of passive voice rarely adds anything positive to writing of any kind. Several of the lesser blurbs mentioned use passive voice in quantity, and that tends to dull the reader’s interest.
What I first look for in a blurb is the hook. Why should I read this writing? The hook must be couched in engaging verbiage, without spelling or grammatical errors yet not lacking in personality. Preferably the personality of the work itself. I need to know what I’m getting myself into, and, moreover, I need to want to jump into the author’s world.
Voice is absolutely important for the blurb; it must establish the tone of the work while appealing to the intended audience; hopefully it will also draw in those adventurous souls who are not the intended but are willing to try something outside their normal feeding grounds. The voice used in the blurb will be what the reader will expect from the writing itself. If the blurb sets a false expectation, there will be a lot of disappointments. Mostly for the author.
As a writer, the hardest part of writing a blurb is figuring out what to say. Honestly. I’ve been wrapped up in this plot for so long that it’s all mushed up in my head. What’s the story about? Um, well, it’s about this and that, and some about this … uh … yeah. Doesn’t sound so interesting when I put it that way, does it? Blurbs are themselves a story, a microcosm of a plot. Crafting them takes as much time, effort, blood, sweat, and screaming fury as a ten-volume anthology, and their very brevity makes them three times as frustrating.
As a reader, the one thing I dislike most about blurbs is when they give me too much of the plot. I’ve lost count of how many works I’ve picked up because of an exciting blurb only to discover that, because of that very blurb, all the mystery is gone from the story. I want to know “What will happen?”, and these mouthy blurbs tell me three-quarters of the plot on the back cover. I hate spoilers. The second most-unlikable blurb is the one that doesn’t actually have anything to do with the plot. Seriously, did whoever wrote these blurbs actually READ the story beforehand? I chose this story because I thought it was about this, and I find out it’s about that. Advertising fail.
Blurbs need to raise questions in the reader’s mind, and the biggest one should be, “Can I live without knowing how this story ends?” Give a bit of the background, set the opening scene, hint at what comes next. Make everyone who asks that question answer it with a definite “No!”
A very good point about passive voice Sharon, and I love your summary: “can I live without knowing how this story ends?” That’s exactly how a good blurb should make you feel.
I agree with you Sharon – I don’t want the plot given away in the blurb, what is the point of reading it if I already know most of the story?
What stimulates me is the hook, the one sentence that makes you think – theres something different about this book.
With joining the reading club, I have read books that I would not normally read (thanks Merilee), and to be honest, in some cases the blurb does not do the book justice, and in one instance, the blurb made the book sound more interesting than it was.
Some very good points there Sharon, it makes the writer in all of us take away some useful information.
Oooh – I cringe to know what efiction book readers will think of my blurb when they see it in October!
This is a great post, and I’ll admit writing a blurb for me is incredibly difficult. It’s like when someone asks you what your novel is about: there’s so much you want to say, and little space to say it.
My trick is to only summarize the initial few chapters, the part of the story that is supposed to hook readers into your story in the first place. It stops me from giving away too many details, and hopefully makes the readers curious for more.
That’s not a bad technique, because the first few chapters are usually the ones with the most action.
Quillsandzebras, I use a similar technique for writing my synopsis.
Wow! I’m flabbergasted and happy that DEAD(ish)’s blurb made the cut! *grin*
Well, here’s what I learnt in writing and rewriting DEAD(ish)’s blurb (I’m not an expert, and this is self-taught, so take it with a grain of salt):
- Don’t tackle it as though you’re telling a friend about the book.
- A blurb is all about concepts, not storyline. What are the key concepts in the story? Make sure you address those. <— I think this point is the key one to remember.
- Use a similar writing style to what's used in the book. No long evocative sentences if the book's full of short, punchy sentences and fast action (and vice versa). Humor's great – but only if the book's humorous.
Very good advice there Naomi, and you nailed the concepts with the blurb for DEAD(ish).
Naomi, I loved your story, I had so much fun reading it, it was a story that engaged me, and the blurb was what convinced me that this had to be a good read, so thank you!
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Blurbs are a form of advertising copy. Their job is to make the reader look in the book or click the link.
They are not a synopsis or outline. They are a baited hook. If they are hooking people in they need reworking.
No, they’re not a synopsis or an outline, but that’s a common mistake. Thanks for commenting Becky.